Living My 13-Year-Old Dream

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April 28, 2018 was just a random, nothing-particularly-special kind of day not until my mom told me I’m going to EXO’s concert, The ElyXiOn, on that very day. I jumped and shouted for joy for about an hour because I can’t believe I’m really seeing them! I’m feeling very giddy and I just couldn’t stay still. So many thoughts were running on my mind like the clothes I’m going to wear and the emotions I’m going to feel while singing with the crowd. I couldn’t take all in! My sister and I rushed to MOA Arena with the help of our parents because we’re almost late. Good thing, we don’t have to fall in line as our seats are on the premiere suite, the one with V.I.P. Lounge. We finally went inside and I could hear the loud chants of the EXO-Ls. It made me even more nervous and excited though it’s already my 2nd concert (first was U-Kiss and LaBoum). The moment we entered the arena, I was on the verge of crying because they were playing “Moonlight”, one of my favorite songs from their album “Overdose”. I couldn’t handle the feels so I just sang along with the crowd while wiping my tears. It’s one of the best feelings ever!

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The shouts and chants increased even more when they started performing. I was just constantly shouting for Kai, Chanyeol, and Sehun’s name throughout the whole song since I’m not too familiar with their new songs. Then, they started playing “Growl” which made me both sing and dance. My throat is starting to hurt but I really don’t care at all! The guard came up and told us to transfer in the middle section of premiere suite because we were at the far side so I was even happier we had a good view of them. They sang “Don’t Go” which is the song I love the most among all of their songs. Then it hit me. When I was just 13 years old, I used to sing and dance to Growl, fangirl over them through TV, and get sad whenever they have concert in Manila I couldn’t attend to. But now, I’m living my 13-year-old dream. What good did I do in my past life to deserve this kind of blessing? I didn’t notice I was already sobbing when they started singing the chorus of “Don’t Go”. I realized, it was a dream turned to reality. I couldn’t be happier anymore. I forgot the other details of the concert but what I won’t forget is the feels during their last song. Everything was almost coming to an end. The last song they sang is “Angel”. I have so much memories with this song. My 13-year-old self can’t help but recall the time I had Gastroenteritis, “Angel” was the only song I listened to for 1 week straight. It literally felt like an angel was singing me to sleep and those angels were them. It was time to say good bye to them. I waved to them so hard and I’m so happy Kai noticed me he waved back while looking at me. That time, I really couldn’t help but cry because of so much happiness I’m feeling. I know this is not gonna be the last. I’ll see them very soon. 너무 사랑해, 엑소!

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A train of unfiltered thoughts vol. 2

13

It’s just one of those nights where I lie in my bed, awake. Million of thoughts is the sole reason for my sleepless soul. I often think about things that gives no answer to itself. I reckon of countless possibilities in life and of what’s in store for tomorrow. There i came thinking, how is there a tomorrow? How do we know there’s life the next day? I remember His greatness. He gives life surely. He gives life kindly. And day by day, he reveals His greatness in the most delicate way. He keeps me going. When life is tough, the way it always is, He serves as my strength. With high hopes of surviving from life’s daily struggle, I run to Him. I am deeply grateful for having to experience the throes He continuously provide. Its absence will not culminate hard work and self motivation, truly. I will unceasingly thank Him for His enigmatic works of wonder. At certain times, when life is unusually blissful, I unknowingly neglect how He worked His way to where I stand. I would often disregard the mere actuality that I arose from the lowest ground existing and my triumph will not come about if wasn’t for Him. There are instances where in I would look down from the mountain I stand on without feeling neither satisfaction nor gratification. My psyche shouts for more. I would forget that in order to climb another one, I must go down again. More often than not, I feel hate for having to descend, for having to interact with people of lower standing. I conceal my unnecessary slurs for them. But I forgot that we are of the same standing, we strive for a similar aspiration, and we are His people.

 

Photography: Kyle Alexandria Mirano

A train of unfiltered thoughts vol. 1

12

She stands in the most intimidating way

She walks as if a red carpet is beneath her

She speaks like she knows everything

She laughs as if no one is watching her

She acts like no one is judging her

She thinks in the most interesting way

She does best in all things

She is the person you’ll rarely meet out of the 7.5 billion people in this world

She is unique

And that, she is aware of

She is one of a kind

She deserves everything best there is

She hides under another person

In the most subtle way, she cries

Her roar of pain is so loud that you could barely hear anything

Her tears are precious like a diamond that you could not see it

She’s so good in everything

That even her feelings, she was able to keep it hidden

Photography: Kyle Alexandria Mahry Mirano